So here I am, sitting in a parking lot and it just hit me that I haven’t written anything yet for the workzine! So yeah, I am going to attempt to do that now, barring of course any interruptions by the hard working parking attendants coming over to ask me why I’m just sitting here slowly getting cooked in this heat. What, you also want to know why? Well, let’s see, the sun is…well, shining is a bit of an understatement, burning is more like-
Just a moment, this chap is really getting insistent, I suppose he doesn’t like getting ignored… hey what do you know, turns out I was blocking traffic!! Good thing I looked up when I did, there was this hefty… um, I’ll go with lady, just in case she does read the workzine and thinks back to the magical moment when we almost met- almost cuz that suspiciously metal bar looking like thingy she was holding in her hand gently persuaded me to hightail it out of there before it could have any… ok, seriously, I don’t have the time to write this out, she’s bearing down fast!! Gotta run!!
Ok, think I lost her. Whew, where was I? …um, maybe I should start over…
So here I am, sitting in a parking lot and- why am I sitting in a parking lot? Now that is a good question!! Why am I sitting in a parking lot? Well, let’s see, I got into my car and drove- Aiee, I just remembered, some idiot petrol attendant robbed me!! Shamelessly, without batting an eyelash, and just like that let me drive off with and empty tank, now how fair is that? Ok, I know I know, it happens everyday and blah blah blah, but this is my petrol station!! I would drive halfway across town just to fuel up there (of course it has nothing to do with the fact that they also have the cheapest fuel in town, nothing at all, honest, the fuel attendants there just do it for me, I mean, with the car and all…), and then they do this to me? To me?!
Eh, anyway, that is beside the point, I was saying something about me being in a parking lot and – oh yeah, do you have any idea how good the bypass is for some of us chaps? I mean, Wandegeya to Ntinda in ten minutes!! Now that is something!! Of course you still have to deal with a few things – I mean, the other day I saw a bajaj guy knock a cow, I mean seriously, it almost looked like he aimed for the poor animal’s-aiee, crazy lady found me!! Guess that’s what I get for trying to hide out in the same parkin lot… and it looks like she brought along her brother… um, wait, no, sister? Yikes, I am so out of here!!
So here I am, sitting in a parking lot, an empty one this time – how many times have I started writing this article I wonder – eeh, that’s not important. You know, I keep trying to tell you what I’m doing in this place but you never stay long enough to listen, or in this case read far enough down, I’m starting to think you don’t really care!! Oh, you read this far down cuz you’re actually curious? Funny, I never considered that!
Well, I am – just so you know, there are no parking attendants here. Or hefty ladies armed with crowbars and the like so nothing is going to interrupt me, well, nothing I can think of right now. So buckle up (yeah yeah, I know you’re probably thinking “finally!!” you know, with all the eye-rolling to make sure I don’t miss the sarcasm) and prepare for the ride.
Oh, phone call, hang on a moment, I really have to take this, the workzine doesn’t exactly pay yet you know.
Ah, there you are, still awake. Um, ok, I know it was a long phone call but I really really had to take it, one of those make or break things. But I’m here now, in this lovely secluded spot that is slowly getting darker so no one will be able to see me to bother me… wait a second, that’s not such a good thing… what happens if that shifty eyed fellow who’s been walking past picks up the courage to do something drastic!! There is no one to call for help around here… maybe I should move; at least in the other parking lot the attendants could have helped me against the lady, here…
Oh no, the chap’s coming back!! What am I to do what am I to do… (okay, so I know it’s a really strange time for an aside, possible impending doom and all, but I just realized I have a particular writing style!! Cool, that means I have a signature style that no one can take away from me!!)
Where was i? oh yeah, in the middle of being terrified… I’m not pulling this off very well, am I? *Sigh” and I’m supposed to be a creative writer. Till next time I suppose.
By Brian B. Coutinho
<the wirter has a thing for police women or they have athing for him and his car >