Wireless Modern Church Services

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PASTOR:  Praise the Lord.
CONGREGATION:  Halleluiah!
PASTOR:  Can we please turn our tablet PC, iPad, cellphone, kindle bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13….! And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon…. !
PASTOR: Let us pray committing this week into God’s hands. Open your WhatsApp, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with your God. Come on…in the name of Jesus…!
PASTOR: Please have your credit and debit cards ready as we shall now take tithes and offerings. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password Lord909887.
[Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers. Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church and those who prefer to use iPads allowed to flip them open. Those who prefer telephone banking are allowed to take out their cellphones to transfer their contributions to the church bank account!]The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the cellphones , iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!
[Announcement]
SECRETARY: This week’s cell meetings shall be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place.
Please don’t miss out. Thursday’s bible teachings will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don’t miss out. You can follow Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers. God bless you and have a wonderful week!

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