The Pretty Airhead

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I have to rant about her. I have held my peace but I cant hold it any longer. Forget about all those characters other people have been talking about , this one deserves to be shot. I remember the first time I saw her: she was stunning, pretty , lovely wonderful exciting and she got me excited.

She had this impressive sense of style. Everything she wore looked natural on her. She didn’t walk, she sort of convinced the air to lift her gently to where she wanted to go. She smiled at me and welcomed
me to the office. I was in seventh heaven.

Five years down the road and I wonder why she is still here. Granted she is pretty but if I had the power, she would go. The thing is that she is just a pretty head. I won’t say blonde because I have met some pretty amazing blonde girls who have both beauty and brains. But the Office Pretty airhead lacks the latter. She has nothing in that brain. I bet that if she was to have her head opened up, even getting a grain of sand out of it would be a miracle. It would probably be filled with inane songs like touch my body, Barbie girl ,…. You get the idea.

Miss Pretty Airhead can not operate a machine. She can not write a report. She types at the amazing speed of one word per minute, her phone manners are only excused by the fact that she has a wonderful voice. Switching on a computer probably took her years to master and she is probably the one who calls IT guys to tell them that her coffee holder is hidden. The few attempts to get her to write minutes were a disaster. I will concede that she is not totally useless, she is a good prop when you want to get the guys from the rival companies jealous at lunch. She can also be used to get rid of your ex. She is good to look at . She is good at getting creditors to sit in the lobby for hours on end without complaint and then agree to come back tomorrow.

Over a cup of coffee , she can give you all the juicy details on who is doing who in the office, who fought with who, who did shoddy work, who is being primed for a promotion, who is about to be fired, who has formed an alliance with whom , who is having personal problems at home and all that extra-curricular crap that one may need when about to launch a war in the board room or knowing which office girl is vulnerable for the pick. She is also surprisingly not easy. But when all is said and done, she is not worth having on the payroll. I wonder how she got through university <she has a degree, I checked!!> . All she is good for is to look at and nothing more.

Madsen Hall <The writer works in an industry in Germany that has an open office policy which gives him a clear view of the reception.>

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