From The Left Field

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Goodbye 2009, we’ve had a rough year for sport this year, haven’t we? Take soccer, both on the local and international scenes, nothing has happened. Now you might think different but you are going to need to face the facts.
Nothing much happened in soccer here. I think Uganda won one trophy or the other and the players made some money, ha. Oba, we played Rwanda… read the tabloids for more details.

On the international scene, Arsenal is rubbish and Manchester is cool. If anyone doubts look at Arshavin’s miss in one of their games (you are the fan, not me) and if you are reading the sports section of this zine, you should know what I am talking about. Compare that miss to Paul Scholes’ 40 yard screamer against one of the other teams and it should be easy to come to the same conclusion as I did. Discussion closed.

Quidditch has to be the fastest growing sport this year. This year’s regional tournament was held in Kisoro and Kayunga came out top with a massive 27,000 points. Master seeker, Bujagali scored a career high 11,000 points against Mukono and won the tournament’s golden glove. Iganga and Kampala Central tied in second place with 22,000 point apiece and KPC once again came out at the bottom with a measly four(4) points. We have to wonder why a pentecostal organisation would want to participate in a wizarding sport. Anyway, hope they do better next year.

In boulder rolling, Maersk Bugrovich once again emerged winner. Named “Obelix” by his competition, Maersk rolled a one ton boulder fifty two (52) kilometers in two hours beating runner up Abid da Mern by over forty eight hours. His signature rolling technique was witnessed by adoring fans who drove all the way in their excitement.
In lacrosse, I guess nothing happened because there was nothing in the newspapers about it. Congratulations to whoever won any of the various tournaments that run every year in the other countries in this world.

In a word, nothing much has really happened on the sporting scene but wait…I think Ireland and France almost went to war over a hand of God scenario involving France’s Thiefy Henry. The war didn’t happenen, thank God. I have friends in Ireland and in-laws in France, I’d have real trouble deciding which side to invest my mounds of money in.
Athletics held its premier event in Kampala, the MTN marathon.

A plethora of underweight men and women in little shorts took to the streets in a bid to prove to their workmates that they don’t underperform just in the office but on the highway as well. Some variants and mutants run for the money. Really people, why would you run for money outside the following scenarios. 1. A pickpocket has snatched your wallet and is making himself scarce, at your expense as it were (unnecessary words but my fingers are flowing over this keyboard). 2. You have won the Yoola omudidi and need to run to the car for a sack. Some guy won the money, everyone else got tired and that is it on athletics.

If you are disappointed in the contents of this article, that is your {expletive indicative of common occurence of *bilirubin*}. If on the web, check out espn, soccernet and so on for irrelevant sporting knowledge and statistics. Have a great year and remember to stay away from sports for reduced fatigue this coming year. Merry Christmas and a happy new year – your sports correspondent.

@nagimesi <The writer is a sports fanatic, of sorts. He also likes Warcraft, GTA and other such pastimes

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