A Maid up story

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<Ed: This story is probably made up. But it makes for a nice reading >

I once worked as a hotel maid, for a summer. The head maid, let’s call her Tubby Wood, was a real piece of work. And fat. She was a big, fat,ugly stereotype. Oh the good Lord never thought to put such a fat woman on this earth. She was always on my case for being too slow, and she’d get upset if I’d turn on the TV in the room I was cleaning. I was always like, lighten up, bitch, Jersey Shore is on!

Anyhow, I get this room to clean and the guests were absolute pigs. They were unhappy with their room, so they opened up the windows, removed the screens, and let the mosquitoes fly in. They then let the mosquitoes bite them. Seriously, they let these bugs get so full of blood they must not have been able to fly. Then, the hotel guests squashed the blood-filled mosquitoes all over the walls. They even left a note that said, “Hey bitches, the room sucked so we let mosquitoes suck our blood and we left it for you to clean up! And by the way, we may or may not have AIDS or hepatitis or something, so have fun!”

Needless to say, I was disgusted and a little unsure how to clean blood from walls. So I called the boss on our walkie-talkies: “Hey, Wood, this is messed up, please, please please. Help.” She waddled in and first got on my case AGAIN for having the tv on. Hey, before you go busting my chops, I tell her, look at all the blood! It’s like a crime scene in here! So she looks around, rolls her eyes, and hands me a jug of ammonia and a jug of bleach and tells me to mix them together and it will get the blood out, and no worries about getting any diseases.

I was gobsmacked. I tried to tell her why it was a bad idea to mix the two cleaning products together, and she turns around and moons me! So I smacked her fat bare ass before hightailing it out of there. I heard that she attempted to clean it up herself using her special recipe, but she ended up hospitalized. For inhaling…yep, you guessed it, CARBON MONOXIDE. Duh.

Anyhow, I found a job at a rival hotel across town that very day as the head made, making three times what I maid at the other job! And I was so
glad I found the new job, cause the other hotel went out of business three days after I quit. It turned out, the bitchy, boss lady had been stealing desserts from the restaurant part of the hotel and they were totally broke.

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