I’m Afraid We’re Gonna Have To Ask You To Leave , Sir…

Pastor Martin Ssempa

No more facebook for Pastor Martin Sempa, or as I like to call him, The Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment.

Why I call him that? Well, he is not exactly who he says he is, and if I call him that, then he is not exactly who I say he is either. I rely on trivial little toys like this to amuse myself.

It was the ultimate defriend-ment. It’s bad enough when one put-upon ex-buddy locks you out of their account after what you said about their date’s hairstyle in that tagged picture, but for Pastor Doctor Sempa, it was the entire social networking website that has chucked him. We logged on to read the startling news last week that the doctor’s account had been snuffed out. He would no longer be permitted to poke, like, post, comment or lol at anything.

This news it turns out may not have been be entirely accurate. I just did a search and Martin Sempa’s FB is still very much in situ, albeit with only one friend. Yes, only one. The wonders of mathematics. I am dicing and fencing with the idea of sending a friend request right now. I want to know what is going on, but not badly enough to be dude’s friend…

If he was or if he ever is kicked off FB it would probably be something to do with violating the company’s terms of service. When one joins, one is asked to abide by certain rules, including those that demand one refrain from hate speech and incitement.

Pastor Mar’n is best known as a moral crusader. Wait. That’s like saying that an earthquake is best known for ruining Ludo games by making the dice move by themselves. Pastor Martin is a vigorous and driven and very focused opponent of whatever he claims homosexuality is—he is so focused that the bio part, where Zukerburg invites users to “tell us a little about yourself”, he says, “Hates The Homos!”

I am not going to discuss whether being gay is right or wrong. We are all entitled to a fit or two of righteous indignation when we encounter those whose sins are different from ours. My interest in Pastor Sempa comes from the fact that when you autotune his voice and loop it over a techno beat the result is funky fresh.

But if he is entertaining at first, he quickly gets old, and becomes pathetic and then disturbing and then you feel violated from just having heard him. Pinky and The Brain is much better — It’s also evil and cartoonish, but it’s much more palatable.

When Busingye told us about the alleged banishment of the shepherd he didn’t particularly think he would miss the old man, but he was wondering what this meant for free speech in general. Busingye is that kind of man. He worries about what things mean for free speech. In general.

Hate speech is not permitted on facebook, naturally. As a privately-owned party it can decide what it will permit and deny, and you can’t bring your human rights wololo to a private party, but given the size of this thing…

Facebook is huuuuge. And it’s all over the internet. Every website you visit — the news, youtube, prawns (you know I can’t write that word in full for fear of attracting sprawms) blogs – they always have the little ‘F’ logo floating around somewhere. Even my yahoo mail is linked to FB, and though my gmail and twitter are not, I already have apps that force them to coexist with it in one consolidated stream.

I fear that in the end it’s going to look like this wild experiment in information anarchy that we call the internet has finally met its nemesis. Because FB is so pervasive, is so all over the net, it could virtually BE the net. And if there is a guy who controls FB, then that guy will essentially control the net too.

It’s scary. I’m not sure I wouldn’t rather have Rantin Martin than that.

Written by Ernest Bazanye <The Writer would like to own shares in FaceBook so he can ask all the pretty girls …who’s your daddy ?>

Read More from Ernest on his blog here


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.