Hark the Herald Angels sing…..


Christmas is here. And it’s on a bloody Saturday. Who puts Christmas on a Saturday and boxing day on a Sunday. Seriously demented chap. Mbu what?? It’s a normal weekend?? Kale mbiganye. Sija ku allow. Do these chaps know how much needed that 2 day break is? If they don’t they r only fooling themselves. Welcome me back from my enforced sabbatical. You can even clap. It has not been easy not writing for the wrokzine. You see I got promoted and now am all important n a boss so I guess am no longer going to find all those articles berating bosses funny anymore while time to idle for Abid n the wrokzine has surprisingly really reduced. I thought that bosses do nada and just sit there bossing people arnd all the time but how Gob smacked I was when I discovered it isn’t so. In fact I was so excited about being promoted that I thought I wd at least put in 3 articles for the wrkzine every week.

Can you believe that Berbatov. Yell, the silky nearly useless gifted is top of the top scorers’ chart?? And to imagine that on the weekend he banged five I was about to post an article declaring him a footballing eunuch. Son now and forever we have no choice but to mention him in the same breath as Defoe, Andy Cole n Allan shearer. History can be such a bitch after all. No matter the case, the man is now legend. But so is that idiotic chairwoman of the chicken nuggets that bought Blackburn. Prior to purchasing the club, the chick (nugget) had never watched a football game in her life. Then she fires big Sam for having a poor transfer policy and not playing entertaining football and not vying for a top four spot. Does she remember that her transfer kitty is 5m dollars. In fact on the day she bought the club, she stood on Sky sports and said that 10th or 12th position is her realistic target. I guess the chicken Nuggets hadn’t yet gotten to her head eh? Before that though, Chris Houghton was fired. While I always suspected the ungrateful Mike Ashley would make it happen for the life of me I had never even suspected Allan Pardew to be a suspected replacement. Houghton did a great job by the way. He performed miracles. He never let Newcastle follow the Leeds path and he even left Middleborough down there. Straight back into the premiership with a new lease at life and the Geordies weren’t even fighting relegation. In fact they were well placed for a place in Europe. It was only suspected that the return of Ben Afar would have offered a new lease to life that would have been the perfect tonic for a European place. In fact Houghton never did anything wrong. He just didn’t look like a good manager. For crying out loud he is black. Ashley wasn’t about the only person to trust a black dude to steer the club. Moreover, Houghton was receiving all the plaudits. Ashley had to have a moment to shine. But instead of the fool hiring Martin O’Neill or Martin Jol, he brought in Pardew. The last time I had Pardew’s name he was successfully presiding over West ham’s demise. Quickly followed by even more disastrous results at Southampton. The man has never achieved anything of note. Not never. He has never won a chicken dance competition, never won class monitor contest, he don’t even have a certificate for best ball boy achievement. The guy is so a seconds kind of dude that he could never go up but only down.  Just how Ashley plans to re establish Newcastle, only he knows. But it bes one of those clubs that I mind going down.  Lets hope Mike Ashley knows something that we don’t. Am going Tevez and he bull shit because its exactly that. Bull shit.

Qatar world cup. Aaaah. While Moscow is defiantly going to show a display of power and might during the tournament when its held there, Qatar promises to be the most spectacular spectacle ever. Mbu gays feel left out. As if I give a rat’s ass. These guys have planned to build stadia that will make Korea look ordinary. Imagine a stadium with climate control. I didn’t even think that was possible. But then again these guys have the billions. And if rumors are to be believed and they successfully purchase Manchester United from the Glazers. Wooo. They have set aside a 2.5billion dollar kitty. 1.5 billion to purchase the club from the Glazers who bought it at 600m only. And 1billion for Ferguson to buy whatever and whomever he wants. They see Manchester United as the way in which to best market Qatar. Their theory is that by arming the best coach in the world with the best players in the world, 2 years and united will play football even Barcelona can only dream of. Which better way to attract money spending fans. And which better way to entice the very few but extremely rich people of Qatar into the world of soccer. Forget Manchester City riches. These guys have a whole different definition of riches. While Manchester United fans would wish for this to become a reality. Am sure the rest of Europe is on its knees praying it never ever happens. Like Paul said, this is the weakest United team Alex Ferguson has ever worked with. Yet they shockingly remain unbeaten.  So imagine one with Lionel Messi, Torres and Gareth Bale. Scary stuff indeed. And so long as Alex Ferguson remains boss, that team would be unbeatable. Over to the Qatari royals.

I guess if the royals succeed the jam will go like this. Hark the herald manchunians sing, Glory to the Qatari Kings blah blah blaa blah. Whatever.


Crane (Denny crane)


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here