Greetings from the G-Spot… uhm… uhmm sports room; I know what all y’all haters are thinking. You think G-Spot’s dead! You think GTV washed away! You think we gone! I’ll tell you, you so wrong! GTV may be gone but G-Sport is still here and won’t ever……
…wait a minute! Have I been saying
G-Sport or G-Sp… ???
Never mind! Important things first
This is a quick feed of the hottest sports news. First stop… London!
The London Post recently recalled their latest stamps because they had pictures of Tottenham players on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on! One of these spitting-indecision moments led to a tragic accident along Sevo Rd on King George IV drive in lower London when a car carrying 7 passengers drove off a cliff after the driver of the vehicle paid too much attention to the stamp! A man who witnessed the accident and was still recovering from shock got what he called “the perfect first aid” when he found out that the car was carrying Aston Villa fans and looked well immediately after the discovery. He was however very displeased about the incident but only because you can only fit 7 in the car!!
This hate thing on football clubs seems to have cut across class and profession as a prominent UK musician [names withheld] caused a scuffle at Mama Muzungu’s bar on Lewinsky street when he was asked what you have when Liverpool fans are buried up to their neck in sand, and the singer’s response was; NOT ENOUGH SAND!!!
Revellers at the posh joint where the game between Chelsea and Manchester United was being showed burst into laughter thinking the man intended to insult only Liverpool FC. Things took a twist when the man took out his Jacket and revealed a t-shirt with a picture of the Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson and the Sir’s last name spelt “Fag-Ass-On”. The star went on to talk about how the Manchester United manager just seems to have the wrong name whether you choose to spell it that way or as Fag-Us-On, which certainly wasn’t doing his team any favours in football terms. “I heard they were raped by some Germans!” the start went on to say, prompting deafening laughter from the Chelsea fans.
A number of Manchester United fans who felt very out tried to attack the star but were stopped by the Chelsea fans who now considered the star as their ally. Pandemonium however broke out when just moments after the fans had agreed to concentrate on the football, the star blurted that if he was locked in a room with a lion, a crocodile and a Chelsea fan and was given a gun with only two bullets, he would shoot the Chelsea fan twice! This caused everyone in the game to suspect that the star was an Arsenal supporter and for that, he was almost lynched instantly! He was however saved when he turned away to run for cover, revealing a picture of the Arsenal Manager, Arsene Wenger, and the word “Paedophile” below it!
At this point, the fans who were now not sure what to do anymore just agreed that the star had had more than his fair share of the bottle and so decided to get on with the game and let the man enjoy his inebriated state.
The star sure just wasn’t about to be done. This time he was wise enough to try and mend fences with the United fans by having a go at Manchester City
<At this point I’ll lay back and let the man talk>
>> “Hey fellas! Do you know why the pitch at the city of Manchester stadium looks ever green? I’ll tell ya! Every Saturday they put $400m worth of s*** on the pitch and it works wonders!”
>> “Do you know why many of them are now planting potatoes around their homes? They just want to have SOMETHING TO LIFT AT THE END OF THE SEASON!”
By now, it was half time at Old Trafford and there was an ad on the screen talking about the return of Tiger Woods. To that, this is what he had to say:
>> “I am still completely bamboozled as to why Mrs. Tiger Woods was making a lot of noise when the man got caught. I mean, the man is used to PLAYING 18 holes, ain’t he? Seriously, what did she expect?? By the way he is the best at it! He is an inspiration to all of us men!”
Guys, I guess at this point you will understand why I was so disappointed when the man’s lights finally went out! He surely made my evening with his dry humour. None of us got to know which team he supports and…
…ok you got me!
Yeah, I was never in a London pub and none of this ever happened so no one should take offence…
…just another one of my idle breaks!
Alright, may be let me complete my story. While the guy was being carried to his Range Rover, I told his chauffeur to make sure his mama didn’t see him in that state, to which the drunken guy answered, “shut up! Yo mama’s so old; her birth certificate has ‘EXPIRED’ on it!”