Every body I know sucks at saying goodbye . Whether dumping some one or getting dumped, leaving for school, going outside districts or countries or states to for some time or leaving your crash pad early on Monday morning , bidding farewell is something tricky. Its even more weird when you are changing jobs or God forbid, you have been fired. Ok the latter is easy . You just throw a tantrum, say its God’s will and make yourself scarce because the pity and forced “bambi’s” can be a pain. The more tricky one is when you are going elsewhere for greener pastures. Telling the boss is a bit easy since they are usually not that close to you. Just write a letter resigning and have a chat telling him /her that you are moving on and thanking him/her/it for help and support given.
Your fellow workmates on the other hand , it be completely different. The temptation is to rub it in their faces, shout out loud SEE YOU SUCKERS!! Muhahahahahahahah!!! And then play your own version of a classic in words like : “ I’m leaving, on a taxi, i hope to not be coming back again” and then go to the obnoxious b**** who feels Queen of the castle and laugh in her face. Of course , in a bizarro world , that would work. But in reality you have very few options. One could always go for a group lunch or dinner or hang out in the bar. You could may be go desk by desk saying goodbye and telling lies like : “I will miss you. ” “hope to hang out with you later ” or even the all-situation—all-weather– safe- phrase “I will call you!!”.
If you think you are really popular, you could send out a memo with a contribution basket to show how much people appreciate you but if you are a coward like me and hate all that emotional stuff and hypocrisy, just send a group mail and walk the hell out!!!!
Stella N. <the writer has obviously never left a workplace.>