Bombshells, Bumps, Potholes, Basketball, Billboards, and not exactly in that order…

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No sooner had I seen it, than I knew that I had my article. You see, I regularly have writers block, except when I don’t have to write anything, then material flows, quite easily. Sometimes matters just crop up out of the blue, and you say,” This could be interesting….”
Take yesterday morning for instance; my brother informs me, AFTER seeing me brush my teeth that the kid at home had used my toothbrush just before me. Now I wouldn’t mind sharing a toothbrush with a kid, just once, but this girl’s teeth have GANGRENE, it’s that bad. The brush is in the trash…. My brother is in the mood for bombshells this week;” Sam, you remember the sweater you lent me on Wednesday? I left it in the taxi.” And he’s all apologetic as if that will bring back my sweater. I wonder what is in store for tomorrow….
Pothole update: there are new square potholes on the way home. The old patched squares are doing remarkably better than the rest of the road? Why can’t the whole road be made of patches? Let that simmer….
Our team at the office, DMark Power (some branding, ed) was Uganda’s main hope at the Zone 5 basketball championships. However, like all Uganda main hopes, they did not fail to disappoint. They failed so dismally that today’s game against warriors is just a showpiece, with no real meaning to it. Ironically, the Kyambogo warriors were the least fancied team. Maybe we’re not meant to be supporting the good teams? Anyways, they will give Power a run for their money in the second half of the season.
Now, back to what I saw. I’m sure you have noticed that outdoor advertising has really taken off in Ug, with Billboards, Screens, Toy billboards, Cloth banners, Baby Billboards, Posters and other things I am not thinking of right now. However, a few months back, a new rival to the billboard arrived. It was…surprise…an A4 plain white paper! On it were fantastic claims, written mostly in caps, like, GET A LOVER, LOSE WEIGHT, GAIN WEIGHT, and various other scandalous things that I’m sure embarrassed parents when their still innocent kids would read aloud the signs…ENLARGE YOUR…private parts, let’s pretend we are timid, won’t we?
Anyways, the Bureau of Standards put an end to most of the silliness by challenging them to provide scientific proof before they could put up more of their fairy Ads. Some would be quite easy to prove. GET A LOVER, for instance. Phone call, Man comes, another phone call, woman comes, man pays, love at first sight OF MAN’S LARGE WALLET. Problem solved. So I got quite a bout of the giggles when I read this one fancy ad that caught my attention coz it was like wallpaper on an electric pole…GET MAGIC POWERS.
I dare the Bureau of Standards to obtain scientific proof of this one…I infact I may check it out myself. But I’ll be very specific about the magic powers, like, I want the power to make potholes vanish when I’m about to hit them, then appear bigger for the police who are pursuing me….

Wish me luck, and, the number is very easy to remember, for all you desperates out there looking for excitement 555 559, but I don’t remember the network. You’ll have to use magic to get that one…

By Otaala Samuel

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