byE-star Kalenzi on Thursday, 13 September 2012 at 17:50 ·
As I add another year to my life, I thought I should have some sort of documentation..of my 20’s..?Of course not! That would take me months but I have some ‘few’ moments worth highlighting, at least in my view. However, I shall focus on this year. Oh what a year!! Note to self for the umpteenth time *Need a blog for my nonsense*
When I thought of an English word or phrase that could coin my feelings towards the months that have gone by, I drew blanks and then I remembered one of my favourite lines ‘Star ta fa’ I mean Esther means star and this year in more ways than one I escaped dead both literally and figuratively so yes, this note and my sentiments can be summed up in that simple, silly and also meaningful expression.
This year has been remarkable in many ways and although most birthdays are supposed to be special, it is safe to say this particular one is more special than others have been. Whenever I am wishing friends a happy birthday, I often add that I hope for them wisdom in the coming years, for them to learn from their experiences as well as happiness. That is a constant. I mean who does not want to be happy? But wait; here is something else we all need to be- RESILIENT
The Phoenix is a mythical bird that is said to have a tail of scarlet and gold (oh the beauty!) and has the ability to be reborn from its ashes. That makes it immortal. Now, I am not being so vain as to say I am anywhere close to this creature but I have a tale or two about being reborn so this bird too shall go up there when defining what this year has been. This bird is also resilient as I have become, not because of talent or skill but because of God’s grace;)
Oh God’s grace! Up until this year , that expression meant just that-the grace of the Lord. Then somewhere in the earlier days of March a friend took me to a children’s orphanage that goes by the same name..and my life changed almost immediately. Do you know that feeling when you know something is missing in your life but can’t figure out what? You work, laugh and spend time with loved ones but still ask yourself what more can I do.?
You get to a place and feel like you belong; meet people whom you realise were the missing piece in the puzzle of your life. The first hugs I received from these angels (because you never just get one hug) simply touched my heart in parts I didn’t know existed.
It all started with a simple “dream.” I wanted to share Easter with children who had no real family to be with. The idea was to collect clothes, shoes, beddings; toys then get some money so we can have parties for these children. When I saw these children, all 90 of them (the number keeps increasing) living in 3-bedroom bungalow whose rooms are classrooms by day and bedrooms by night..and yet they were so sweet and polite you would think they owned the world..I knew this relationship would be more than an affair..it would last a life time. I felt they were worthy benefactors of this Easter gift if not more.
My friends and I succeeded in our goal and this was not measured based by the quantity of items we took or the amount of food they ate (and trust me both were quite impressive because of people’s big hearts, friends and strangers alike). That ‘Good Friday’ was great because of the excitement that filled every expression, the cheery laughter that we heard, the hearts these children were willing to open to strangers..*sigh* You needed to see how the little babies held on to us not wanting to let go. One simply needed to listen to the little girl’s prayer that brought grown men to tears.
Few things define perfection and of course this day had flaws too but I would re-live those moments constantly as well as all the days that we have spent with those children ever since. The best decision we made was to do more than just an Easter Party.
40 days over 40 smiles was born from a simple thought but family and love grew out of people’s hearts and most of my joys and sorrows this year have often been closely linked to this cause. I am grateful to everyone who has shared this dream to date, makes it so much more meaningful.
So when I started getting ill and doctors could not figure out what was wrong in May. A good friend came home, prayed for me and said this was ‘spiritual warfare.’ “The devil is angry with you and your work so you should expect this to happen,” he said. We prayed and he left my home. I remained flabbergasted (There I used the word)
Three months later, I had the most excruciating pain I have felt in my life .I think my vocabulary is moderate but there is no way of putting to words how it felt. I saw needles, drips, meds, doctors regularly but for a long time..nothing was figured out. I accepted my life of pain and sleepless nights and decided to wait on God. I was told the same thing again; the devil is back for you, that this was my ‘punishment’.
Deep down I knew this was my cross to carry because much as I was suffering, everyone does suffer and many do for longer periods of time. I had moments of whining but I often thanked God for life and asked him to keep me around just a while longer.
Eventually my condition was diagnosed but I still needed bed rest. I was told to slow down…that stress was causing me this pain, Who? Me? What stress? I am a happy child..what were they saying?..My diet was ruined , reduced to tasteless foods and my entire closet needs editing todate with this new weight(I intend to regain every single fat and more..bones, am coming to break you!!) I spent an entire month only knowing the scent of hospitals and hating the paint in my room. And yet, the constant love of my family, the dedication of my friends, my understanding colleagues and the growth of 40-40 simply made all the pain seem like a tiny pebble at the bottom of the sea. They were my angels and still are. I could not have been more blessed.
I grew as a Christian throughout this experience but mostly as a human being. Once you have encountered such an ordeal, certain things stop being important to you and the vital ones remain close to your heart.
I healed like 5 days to my birthday!!!One day I woke up and there was no pain and I danced around just to be sure. I screamed and lay still, pinching and pricking my stomach to be sure.God knew I could not be sad and whinny on this day(I owe you one, okay I owe you quadrillions but you really had my back God..ehyamawe!)
I have learnt several lessons, most just revision of old ones but they make so much more sense now;
*Trust in God. If you do not already, have faith in whatever it is karma, Buddhism whatever works for you. Have something or someone to turn to, preferably a higher power.
#Faith is really important
*People need people, always. Cultivating relationships takes time. Reaping from them lasts a lifetime.
* Sacrifice can be difficult and demanding but nothing worth having comes easy. Sacrifice for others. Even if they show no gratitude, it will pay off, some how
*It could be worse. No matter what the situation is.
*Follow your dreams. Once in a while, they shall even wait for you or come running after you.Just listen
*If there is something on your wish list, do it today. If it needs time and money that you do not have, try to find it. Sometimes life just flies by under our watch.
I could really go on forever. This is already longer than it already should be..I am a young lady(okay not so young any more)so my ‘wisdom’ is nowhere near where it should be but from my mistakes I shall try to learn and teach those I can and my joys, I shall share so they remain even more memorable.
I have come close to ‘leaving this world’ before sometimes it is real, other times imaginary but this year is extra special because I got another chance. So, when I am told ‘eh nga you are like a pastor these days’..I simply smile. No one can understand your situation the way YOU do..but if you let them, they will come to a half way point. So after I have smiled I let them know that the devil gave me every reason to give up but God held my hand and took me to a better place-LIFE. What better birthday gift could I ask for(Please note that this is a rhetorical question, do not change your mind about that Gucci purchase)
If you read till the end, I salute you, gosh,must have been some work..but mostly I wish I could respond to every ‘happy birthday to you’ with a ‘you too’ because my day only means this much since I have people that love me to give me a reason to be here, to want to stay and of course facebook that makes me feel like a celebrity *giggles*
Also you hampibasde all of you