TOYOTA VITZ : something like a car

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Written by Micheal Kalisa 

I have to ask those of you that love this car to stop at this point because I am going to say some unkind things about this car . Some of you will find this funny and others will find it offensive. So those of you that will, please go read something else that will be more interesting to you.

 

 

The first of her kind was manufactured in 98 and has now reached a third generation of production. Most of the cars we see being driven on our streets are the first generation models. International markets in this are the Yaris or the Echo for some places instead of the traditional Vitz.

I decided to write about this car for one reason, a number of my friends made it the subject of banter around most social networking sites. Of course being one to love idiocy and lunacy, I joined the bandwagon. But before I try to compile a list of several myths that have been posted about the unlucky Vitz, I’ll mention a few positive pointers about it.

–          A 1.0 litre engine that has an enviable fuel efficiency of about 1:20km urban driving

–          It is quite spacious even for plus sized pips like myself.

–          On one 300KM journey , I lost a boxing match to one because I was driving a car with a speed governor enforced by my sweet mother, ( anyway the  chap overtook 3 trailers in a corner entering a hill, so being the disciplined one I had to wait till the next passing lane and by that time… moving on)

–          The 5 door models have scored 5 stars on the NHTSA crash tests for frontal drivers ( I honestly do not believe in this fact)

–          It comes in a standard 5 speed manual or a 4 speed automatic.

–          It actually does drive pretty smoothly especially in towns and fits in the smallest of parking spots.

However, all these pointers really mean nothing to the seasoned petrol head. To that person that has a heavy foot, likes running matatus off the road and bullying those timid people as they drive, this isn’t your car.

Let me outline pointers why it simply isn’t all that. I have gotten these one liners from various people’s walls off face tube and tweeter and all those sites that you people use to say hey to one another.

–          Stupidity is driving one to a washing bay yet you have a sink at home

–          It can be carried on a Motorcycle during a traffic jam

–          It comes with a vitz bag, i.e. you pack it and go

–          Reports came in today after the 20 minute storm that some had drowned

–          Those that survived were reported to be seen floating in floods

–          It is reported that it can get stuck on your chewing gum

–          The taxing body is said to categorize it as a car accessory

–          In airlines it is viewed as hand luggage

–          It is reported that they were banned by one of our neighbouring countries; I won’t mention which one though for fear of being deported there.

–          I hear when it runs out of gas, you simply put it on your head and carry it to the next petrol station

–          It is ironic to hear Vitz owners cry about fuel prices.

–          A garage is extravagant for one, the space under your bed is sufficient

–          One said that the Vitz name is too long, it should have been named V.

–          It has been called a “Potty” by our notorious taxi Drivers ( sheila was a victim of this… lol)

These were some of the best few that I could scrounge up at the shortest notice. I will most definitely add a few later if I do get any input from you guys. I will say however that I will drive one ONLY and if ONLY it’s got a stick shift and if it’s not red or pink.

 

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