E-zine!!!!seriously?

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I’m supposed to write something, so he says, something sensible, he said, something geeky he suggested, I guess that means I’m not supposed to ramble on and on and on about… well, nothing in particular. That’s not a problem is it? You don’t mind reading about nothing, do you? It not like this is going to become a regular column or anything, it’s just a hopeful e-zine editor looking up a burned up writer with a severe case of writer’s block to fill up an empty space in this e-zine thingy… should have gotten an ad of sorts if you ask me, even an ad for the e-zine itself…

While we are on the topic, you do know what an e-zine is, right? I mean, it would be pretty pitiful if you did not, you are reading it. But just in case, cuz I’m tired of people going “…an e- what now?” e-zine people, e-zine. I don’t even know what this one’s called come to think of it, but air time’s too precious to try and figure out such a tiny detail. My dictionary defines e-zine as “a website with a magazine lay out” (I could have just pasted the entire entry, but that would have required me to put down credits or whatever they call them, this is Uganda, no one respects Intellectual property rights, so I give you half the definition and we call it square, but that’s beside the point.) Clearly that’s not what this thingy thing is, not an e-zine I mean, but for clarity’s sake let’s just call it that.

See, apparently our dear Editor, who I assume you all know and love *ahem* (sore throat, seriously), got it into his head that all you poor sobs who work with computers but haven’t figured out a way to access anything online besides your mail needed to know what’s going on in the internet world. (You’re not missing much, clearly, otherwise I’d actually have something to write.) Unfortunately he seems to have qualms about letting you really know what’s going on, I mean, I haven’t even smelt the infamous Zain photos, just heard enough about them to get me curious. (btw, if you haven’t heard about them, then you really are living in the dark ages, cuz I live on the outer reaches of the internet, you know, where no one uses their real name, “1337” actually means something and the pretty avatar you’re chatting with could be just about anyone, even yourself, or even worse, our dear Editor, and I have heard about them (the pictures I mean, ever been in a chat room? I mean, the old chat rooms where 20 different people were holding 36 different conversations with each other and still somehow making sense of it, that’s how you might have to read this… it’s not really an article is it? But then, we are calling this an e-zine, so what the hell. (That does make sense; I know it does, to me anyway.))! I haven’t seen them, but I’ve heard about themJ)

(My, but that was a spectacularly long paragraph, just been looking through it again and even I don’t quite understand it, and I can understand some programming mind you, I mean, just what is that exclamation mark doing outside two layers of brackets? And the whole thing looks like one huge impenetrable jungle of a sentence from out here, kinda like Africa to the “civilized world” (yes, I mean the quotes, read them out loud if you have to.))

So he comes to people like me, and of course darling hime-sama, wonder what she’s written about, she seemed all concerned about being all prim and proper, you know, writing something that made sense about something that actually mattered. Lucky for me, I have no such qualms, so you get stuck with this drivel. (Very good quality drivel if you ask me, better than a good long swig of Ug, you know, the kind that has you going “hssss, arhhhh!!!”(yes, I was just sounding that out.).)

Are you still reading this? You should have scanned through and turned the page by now, cuz I’ve seriously run out of stuff to ramble on about, pretty soon I’m going to have to break into song. Ah, wait, even I wouldn’t be able to stand that, so I guess this is where I pen off, keyboard off, or whatever they call it in this digital age.

Till next time, Sayonara (literally).

By Brian B. Coutinho. <The writer is insanely bored, intelligent ,writing a book , owns a company and hosts game-night.>

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